A woman is on the train across from you and her two young children are yelling and running around, bumping into people, hitting each other. She lets it happen and just sits there silently. You think to yourself what a terrible mother she is, and how inconsiderate she is for letting her kids act that way and bother the other passengers without so much as a word to them. She looks disheveled with dark bags under her eyes, and you assume she has a drug habit and simply doesn’t care about her children’s behavior. Even though you anticipate a heated response from her, you muster the courage to say something, considering yourself a hero for the other passengers who are visibly irritated by the children.
In the most condescending tone, “Excuse me, would you mind getting your children under control?”
It takes her a moment to process your question, but she quietly grabs her children, shushes and hugs them, and responds, “I’m very sorry, please forgive me. I’m on my way home from the hospital where I’ve been for three days. My husband, their father, just passed away an hour ago and I don’t know what to do.”
Now who’s the asshole?
On my sixth grade history teacher’s wall was a quote I’ll never forget: “Never criticize your neighbor until you have walked a mile in his moccasins.”
It’s tough to live by that quote since it’s easy and natural for us to judge people. Just remember – we can be very, very wrong in our judgments.