The man rose out of his body and watched the car containing it smash into the tree and explode. Usually with extreme physical trauma resulting in death, among all animals, the soul leaves before physically experiencing the sensations of extreme trauma. There isn’t much of a reason to experience that level of pain, generally speaking.
He thought, “What now?”
Behind him he felt the loving presence of deceased family and friends, his closest loved ones in his life. He turned around to look at them. They all appeared to be in their 30s, perfect health, peak physical form. It wasn’t their appearances that he recognized – some of them looked much different than what he remembered – but their energetic signatures, which was an immediate knowing of who they were.
He was overwhelmed with love and joy and telepathically communicated with all of them at once. What would have taken hours of verbal communication with each of them happened in an instant.
He knew this physical life was over, and while there was a bit of sadness and worry, the vast majority of what he felt was relief and excitement. Being unconstrained by his physical body was the best and freest sensation he’d ever experienced. He knew he was to go with his loved ones to wherever was next.
What was next was a white room. He knew he could see his loved ones at any time, so wasn’t worried about the fact that they had disappeared. He was now with beings in this white room, and he recognized them as teachers or mentors, that kind of relationship.
What follows will be written as if they were verbally communicating within linear time, but in reality the man had returned to the timeless state, so everything below was occurring at once, which is hard to imagine for the humans writing and reading these words. But it’s all we have since we are currently immersed in linear time.
What is this place? he asked them.
This is where we review your life. Where would you like to start?
There was no sense of judgment at all, nothing negative, but on the other hand there was nothing positive or loving either. It was very neutral and sterile, like a tired old professor teaching his hundred-thousandth student.
How about the beginning?
He was shown his birth and some significant events in his first year of human life that explained to him a lot of his behavior during his adult years. Many times his mother was overwhelmed and left him alone crying in his crib until he fell asleep. Sometimes it was a good thirty minutes until he stopped crying. That was when his little infant self gave up and knew no one was coming to comfort him. For many years in his early adulthood those early experiences played out in his being “so relaxed, so chill” which is how his peers perceived him, but inside he suppressed his true feelings because he had learned very early in his life that his needs don’t matter. This made the man sad in the white room. But it made sense.
The teachers asked if there were any particular events from his childhood that he remembered that he wanted to understand. The first one that came to mind was when he really loved a girl with the purity and innocence only a prepubescent child can have. It was the kind of love that has nothing to do with sex or pleasure or any kind of benefit, just a pure wanting to be with and around the other. He wasn’t sure if she liked him the same way, and never asked her out, and was always too aloof around her, trying not to make it obvious how much he liked her. It turns out, in the white room, that he was able to see that she felt the same way about him, but to an even higher degree.
The teachers asked if he’d like to go back and immerse in that time of his life and make different decisions and see how it would play out.
The man was confused and asked what they meant, and they explained that he could dive right back into his physical life with no memory of the white room and live his entire life out again, with the only change being he did ask to be with the girl he liked, and they formed a close relationship. They explained he had any option he’d like, immersing for a period of weeks, months, or even just reliving his entire life over again with that one change, just to see what would end up happening.
The idea was quite appealing to him, but he felt some reservation. He asked the teachers how many times he had done this kind of thing before and they said it wasn’t important to know. Then the man asked who they were and they explained they were tasked with helping human souls learn through their experiences and mistakes during their incarnations. The man pondered this for a while and said he wanted to know anyway. He immediately felt some reservation among the teachers, and whatever mild warmth they may have exuded before seemed to dim. The man grew a little suspicious. He asked again who they were and again they didn’t give a complete answer. The man grew a little frustrated, then angry, and with force, commanded them to show their true forms and commanded to remember everything. The teachers and the room disappeared and the man found himself floating, in a sense, in complete blackness. It wasn’t “space” per se, the blackness had texture to it, and it felt alive, if that makes sense, but at the same time it felt vast. Infinite.
In the distance a tiny bright white light appeared. The man drew it closer to him, and as it appeared directly in front of him, it was a bright white spiraling tunnel that seemed to contain all of the love in the universe. It was the most beautiful, loving, comforting light he had ever seen, beyond his ability to conceive. He immediately wanted to go into the light. He felt all of his loved ones across all incarnations within the light. He felt God and all that is good in the light. The light beckoned him. But he was a suspicious soul, this man.
He commanded the light to tell him what it was, to show him its true form. There was a brief blip in the light, in the tiniest fraction of a moment it flickered off then back on, and when it came back on, it was even more powerful and loving and beckoning than before. The man was overwhelmed with emotion, with the deepest desire he had ever felt to go toward anything. He’d experienced bad addictions in multiple incarnations with drugs, sex, dangerous activities. None of those cravings could hold a candle to his desire to go into this tunnel of white light. But he couldn’t forget that little blip. With all of the force and discipline he could muster from within his soul, he turned away from the light and faced the darkness. He looked into the void.
He felt the light behind him, beckoning him, begging him. He felt the love of all of his ancestors and all of the humans he ever loved in all of his lives begging him to come to them. “Join us in Heaven!” they said. “Hurry, time is running out, you need to join us!” Still deeply desiring to go into the light, he wondered what the rush could possibly be. With his back still turned, he commanded the light to be gone, and it was. And there he was, a single point of consciousness in the infinite void of blackness. It seemed to him to be a canvas of sorts, a medium with which he could do anything.
“Finally got out, eh?” said a being who appeared next to him, looking out into the void with him.
The man commanded this being reveal his true form and intentions, and the being laughed and said, “Oh boy, talk about a fucked up construct, huh? I completely forgot about the lack of trust. Ok, look at me.”
The man looked at the being, and the being revealed everything to him. The man and this being were the same, had been trapped in the Earth realm together over many incarnations, shared many relationships, and had explored an infinite number of other, very different realms as well. They were kindred souls, and the man and the being exchanged a deep love in that moment when the man remembered. But it wasn’t a desirous or beckoning love like the light, it was non-needy, non-urgent, completely and perfectly reciprocal, and it didn’t want anything from anybody. It was just a field of pure love that they both shared, completely coherent and stable. There was nothing to do, there was nowhere to go, nothing more to say, no sense of urgency at all. It was a pure knowing.
The man asked the being, “Well, what now?”
The being said this void is the canvas. Anything he could imagine, he could create. There is no time, no limitations, and no need to do anything at all. The man could create time if he wanted, he could create any realm, physical or not, that he wanted. He could, on his own terms and without oversight, visit, view, or experience anything he’d ever experienced in any life, in any way he desired.
“So I’m like a god?”
“You and me both my friend.”
“How many of us are there?”
“Just one,” the being said, but he also imparted the knowledge that at the deepest level, there was just one. The two of them were one and the same. But they regularly fragmented themselves into separation, into otherness.
“What do you want to do?” the man asked his friend.
“There’s nothing I want to do right now. How about you?”
“Same, I need a break. Actually…here let me try something and if it works, join me.”
The being laughed and said sarcastically “If it works. If it works! Man, you spent way, way too much time on Earth. You’ve really forgotten so much, it’s funny for me to see. If it works!” and he continued laughing.
The man imagined a little jungle island with powdery white sand on its beaches, comfy beach chairs, a cooler loaded with ice cold beer, a table between them, and a pack of cigarettes on the table. The man zoomed into one of the chairs, back into human form, back into a dense physical reality, and said, “Join me!” and tapped the back of the chair next to him.
The being zoomed down into the chair next to the man, and was still laughing. “If it works!”
They each cracked a beer, lit a cigarette, and gazed out upon the shimmering ocean, and used human spoken words to communicate slowly over several hours, reminiscing about different life experiences they shared as humans. The man’s creation was absolutely perfect. There was no memory swipe. No parasites, no deception. Just pure bliss and relaxation with full knowledge of everything.
But it would become a bit boring after a short while.
Author’s note: whenever you end up dying, which is hopefully far in the future (or otherwise depending on what you desire), please consider turning away from the white tunnel of light, no matter how inviting it seems. Face the void and wait. That’s how you get out of the loop (if that’s what you desire). If not, it doesn’t really matter, you can come back for another go-around or a thousand. Just know that the light is not what it seems to be.
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